The Constant !!

I’m not perfect. Never tried to be. I don't put on a mask.

I’ve lived, I’ve learned, I’ve unlearned.
I’ve built things - careers, resilience, inner calm
But I’m still building me.
Not for applause. Not for performance.

Just to keep becoming someone I can quietly be proud of.

I’ve been the provider, the planner, the pillar.
But I’d like to be the partner now, not just the protector.
I want ease.

I want a partner who meets me in the quiet and the chaos
Who values connection over convention.
Movies we don’t finish because the conversation’s better.
Maybe a couple of beers, maybe herbal tea - doesn’t matter.
Just the comfort of us.

Let me have mine. Let her have hers. 
And when our days meet , we meet softly, with laughter, with lightness.
No deadline for children.
No debt wrapped in someone else’s expectations.
because she wants to talk to me, not because she has to.

I want to be seen.
Loved not because I check a list, but because I bring peace to her soul the way she does to mine.
Just real. 

I carry responsibility well, though I won’t pretend it’s always light.
I don’t need a ceremony that dazzles or a relationship that performs.
Late-night banter under a blanket.
Let her have her space, her pace, her purpose.
No pressure for perfection.
Just a text that says “miss you” or “what’s for dinner?”

I don't want to be somebody's trophy husband, nor someone’s sole support beam.
I'll be the poet she wants, I want her to be the soul of the poem
Not flawless. Just free.

That's the Constant I seek.

GBU - The World

 Courtesy Mr. AK and AR and a poem

The Good : 

You're always born new, naive to the world, brought up by probably parents with virtues to follow rules, adhere to them, obey by law, respect everyone,  to be sweet and good to everyone around us.

You are 10 years now. You realise that there is a section where you're asked to tick a checkbox in a sheet at in a new school (parents were checking it for us till then, if not more). You wonder what that means ! No clue. You ask your parents and they say its nothing but a formality. They keep you naive. 

There is a teacher/ bully in school who doesn't treat you equally because you're new/ dominance/ whatever.

You go to college and then you try to be the best at everything possible. But someone doesn't like it. Not sure why. But someone always doesn't. 

You stay true to yourself and your upbringing and somehow struggle through all this to workspace. Someone feels threatened. Someone feels jealous. Now where is the good in this you wonder !!

So you go to ..

The Bad :

You're not a new born now. You've seen the reality of this world. You've learnt. You pick up on things.

You teach your kid at school to be cautious. Not to take even a biscuit from anyone, You teach them the meaning of good touch and bad touch. You give them a cellphone and not a smartphone to reach you. You ask them to report the incident even if its a teacher trying to discipline you. 

You're in college now. You know your departments and whom not to mess with, There are still bullies and seniors trying to shadow your talent. But now that you know that it's persistent, you try to stand up. But they have been doing this for a living. So you succumb. You're still hopeful.

You go to work. There are managers who know what you're capable of and try to dominate you through micromanagement and deadlines because they are insecure. You have liabilities and a family to look after. So you succumb and play the slave. It's not fun but it pays. 

Then comes authority through associations, trusts, invisisible creatures who want to suck on your hard earned money after GST of course. Now you feel like enough is enough .. let's turn the tables around and get to ..

The Ugly :

You're a new born again. Not in another life ,, but in your beliefs. You know the ins and outs of everything around.

Time to Unlearn the World and rediscover it through your new redefined lenses.

You know enough that schools are nothing but an institution to condition children to follow the good. Virtues don't mean their essence in words. Rules are there to control the masses and let the few shrewd/ rich ones inside. 

You know that laws are indeed not made by the government, You know to play the fool when required and play the goon when your close ones are in dire need. You know that love indeed has lost all meaning and you try to be cautious of who might fool you. Transactions only basis, You have become a pessimist. Actually the world has caused it. 

Bullies at school and college - now no longer exist because they know you can hack into their personal lives and mess with them in ways they wondered possible.

Workplace - Jessica Pearson at work. While everyone is busy playing snakes and ladders, you're playing chess. Two moves ahead at every step. 

World would call you names like XYZ, cold, devoid of emotions, outcast etc. Would try every trick like norms, rules, laws, authority, etc to condition you.

But be the maverick, be unprecedented, unheard of, unpredictable, be good to the good, be bad to the bad and ugly to the ones who deserve it. 

Be unapolegitically YOU.

Adios Amigos till next !!

Well ..

 Moving on !! Sounds like a great theme right ?? Not actually. Movies, the ones that dwelve about too much into it .. making us dream of a path to resurrection and redemption of self ! A great storyline. But nobody shows the reality of it. Padayappa .. Suryavamsam ,, and even the recent Dragon .. same theme !!

Have to give credit to the Dragon team though for keeping it as real as possible. Behind every fake attempt at redemption, there is a true fall. Well .. coming onto our theme ,, moving on,

Moving on involves horrible, terrible, painful, shameful experiences which we will definitely forget by addiction. But we leave a haunting experience on those beside us during this wretched journey of overcomiung someone who is not in our lives anymore, so much so,  that we forget the ones who are still standing by us and we continue to hurt them everyday while we try to cross this phase.

I heard this word "Break Up" being referred to as "Moving On" in some TV show. Wish it had been as simple as that. We would be probably moving on much faster in life in literal sense. But what does it do instead ?

Brakes !! 

Puts us in a limbo ! A state of not knowing one's own being. A persistent non chalant existence of pain which never fades away. You're there but not entirely ! Remember 96's Ram in classroom who misses the one day Jaanu is out of class on fever and the miss shouts .. Ramachandran .. shall I put physically present ?? It's quite similar but just longer. 

Makes us grieve others' happiness and wonder why it's just not happening with us. Are we at fault ? Of course yes ! But we seldom seek apology. So our egoistic self chooses Sorrow, Love is not the only thing that is blind folks because it just doesn't exist anymore. We are blinded by our own ego mostly.

So all these above confusing emotions coexist and they are less guaranteed to let you live in harmony with yourself. But .. time happens .. limbo exists and leaves without uttering a word. You get better at knowing yourself. 

And .. like the dusk has to end at dawn .. even in Iceland winters .. It does come to an end to just greet it with .. yeah why not ? 

Some hope just knocks on your door, Life is filled with surprises .. mostly unpleasant but some genuinely pleasant selves. So just breathe, live the moment, rough the tough and get up because you have another day to live. Open the door !!

Who knows .. you might be actually moving on to something better in life !! 

Adios Amigos !! Have a great weekend !! And Move On !!

Till the next time !! 

Beyond the Script !!

As a budding screenplay writer,

I've always been drawn to the world of storytelling. But little did  I know that my own life would become a complex narrative, filled with twists and turns that would test my resolve.

Growing up, I've navigated the challenges of a fractured family dynamic. The differences between my parents, particularly my father's choices, have left an indelible mark on my life. It's as if the script of my childhood was rewritten, leaving me to question my own identity and aspirations.

Despite these hurdles, my passion for storytelling remains unwavering. I see the world as a canvas, waiting to be filled with vibrant characters, poignant dialogue, and cinematic landscapes. My imagination is a refuge, a sanctuary where I can temporarily escape the complexities of my personal life.

Yet, the weight of my father's expectations and the lingering emotions of my family's past continue to influence my creative journey. I'm torn between pursuing my dreams and meeting the obligations that have been placed upon me.

In this delicate dance between creativity and responsibility, I'm forced to confront the very fabric of my being. Who am I, beyond the script of my life? What stories do I want to tell, and how will I find the courage to share them with the world?

My journey is a testament to the human spirit's capacity for resilience and adaptation. As I navigate the complexities of my past, present, and future, I remember telling myself that your story is still being written.

So I sat down, put pen to paper and everything else just flowed. Didn't happen in a day or two. I had to forget my past to discover my present for a better tomorrow. 

Meeting SK was a similar incident, his journey nothing less painful than mine. But together, we announced to the world - We're here and here to rule ! 

The pen is in your hand, and the possibilities are endless.

Keep writing, and know that your unique voice and perspective will one day shine through the noise.

Hopeless Romantic !!

I remember the first time I saw him - it was like the whole world stopped. I was 17, and he was the new kid in school. He had that whole "bad boy" vibe going on, with his messy hair and piercing eyes. I was hooked.

We met in the school hallway, and I swear, it was like the universe brought us together. We talked for hours, sharing our dreams, our fears, and our passions. I knew right then and there that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

Fast forward to our 20s, and we were inseparable. We'd spend hours driving around, listening to music, and talking about our future. We'd share our deepest secrets, our biggest fears, and our wildest dreams. I felt seen, heard, and understood in a way I never thought possible.

But life had other plans. We faced ups and downs, breakups and makeups. We grew apart, and then found our way back to each other. Through it all, I held on to the hope that we'd make it work.

People called me a hopeless romantic, and maybe they were right. But I didn't care. I knew that our love was real, and that it was worth fighting for.

As we grew older, life took us in different directions. We found ourselves apart, separated by miles and time zones. But despite the distance, our love remained strong.

We'd spend hours on the phone, talking about our days, our dreams, and our fears. We'd send each other letters, care packages, and surprise gifts. We'd count down the days until we could see each other again.

The distance was hard, but it also made us appreciate the time we had together. We'd cherish every moment, every laugh, and every tear. We'd make promises to each other, to hold on to our love, no matter what.

And when we'd finally reunite, it was like no time had passed at all. We'd fall into each other's arms, and it would feel like home.

Looking back, I realize that our long distance relationship was a test of our love. But we passed with flying colors. We proved that our love could conquer all, even distance.

Years later, we're still together. We've built a life, a home, and a family. We've got our ups and downs, like any couple, but we've learned to navigate them together.

As I look back on our journey, I realize that being a hopeless romantic wasn't a weakness - it was my greatest strength. It gave me the courage to hold on to love, even when it seemed impossible.

So, to all the hopeless romantics out there, don't give up on love. Keep believing, keep hoping, and keep fighting for that fairytale ending. It might just be around the corner.

Cheers and good luck for your fairytale to begin !!