Bittersweet

This is not the first nor will be the last of one of my romantic fictions. But here we go again!

The Aaryan Story:

Aaryan (I know it’s a bit cheesy... but trust me!! I don’t want to name even my fictitious characters names like Shiva or Karthik). Long story short ... He had his heart shattered into pieces when his high school sweetheart left him for an older, better looking, rich man from her own community. He tried to drown his sorrows in alcohol, food, and guilt of not being good enough for her. 4 years later, having gained 60 kgs and being thrown out of his house by his family, he shut everyone out of his life including FB, Insta and Twitter so that nobody could even get in touch with him or the worst-case scenario of him stalking his ex on these platforms. He had realized that the people who really wanted to stay would be in touch with him no matter what and the ones who wanted to ... did!! He counted his blessings and moved on to a better job to leave his old life behind.

He started to focus on his work and started to heal himself by adding layers of brutal honesty, insensitivity and a cold exterior so that nobody could ever peel down to expose those wounds again or make him vulnerable. He acted aloof and didn’t get to socialize or participate in any of the office stuff that did not concern his work. He deemed himself unworthy of any girl’s attention and out of everyone’s league and hence, put on a mask that he wasn’t interested in anybody. Then he came across Sheryl.

Sheryl was the new office intern who after a few freelancing gigs, ventured into the corporate world. Her chirpiness, enthusiasm and wit turned so many heads and so did Aaryan’s. But never in the world did Aaryan think that he would be the first to go over and start a conversation with a girl (hadn’t happened in the several years prior) and he couldn’t believe it when she was courteous enough to respond with a smile and have a conversation which stayed with Aaryan for a long time, until his next. He still couldn’t bring himself to get out of his self-loathing and layers that he could cross the barrier of more than an occasional smile when they crossed paths in the cafeteria or in the lobby.

Then, due to some organizational changes, it so happened that Aaryan was shifted to be seated in the same room as Sheryl. Those few glances and smiles turned into an occasional banter, a few laughters and then pulling each others' legs all the time. He could see that she was uncomfortable with smoke, so his addiction of smoking a dozen cigarettes a day gradually had been cut down to a couple a day and none when around her. Also, intentionally it also meant that he could spend his time more during breaks at cafeteria with her. But still, there was still something lurking in the air that did not make him quite confident of approaching her. So, in order to gain her attention and some confidence, he started to lose weight and lost around 30 kgs in a span of 8 months.

But the wounds were still healing and the layers to protect himself from getting hurt kept his guard up and he convinced himself that he would not proceed any further than being friends with her and kept it professional (Well ... at least he tried to!!).

The Sheryl Story: (Strictly from Aaryan’s view)

Sheryl was not the hip party freak liberal Chennai bred girl that Aaryan had assumed, brought up in a metro to be. I know “Regressive” “Presumptuous” “Narrow-minded”. I hear you all loud and clear but maybe Aaryan had to meet Sheryl for him to realize how short sighted he had been. Sheryl was a breath of fresh air around the office, she made friends with everyone almost immediately, dressed quite elegantly and carried herself with such dignity that nobody could even dare to question her values. She was the exact opposite of Aaryan - open-minded, positive, and friendly.

Sheryl started to see Aaryan as a pessimist, misogynist, and self-centered individual but on a few occasions could have been surprised to see that Aaryan’s intentions and words never defied each other and maybe just inclined her enough to notice his existence. We have no clue what happened, but long story short Sheryl just kept it professional apart from a few casual banters about love, life, travel, and marriage – the small talks in cafeteria. And the one time, Aaryan tried to get a bit closer through his so-called witty flirty double entendre, she stopped it right in his tracks and looked at him point blank and said “STOP”. The four letters and that dreaded killer look right into his eyes, sent a chill down his spine but made his admiration for her multifold. While he had come across women who sought attention from any corner they can get, there was this girl, my bad a “WOMAN” who held her moral forte and wouldn’t let anyone let her guard down, no matter how hard they tried.

Aaryan often pondered if her past wounds had hurt her and hence had closed all doors of love or that there was already a door open and wouldn’t let anyone else inside hers. Maybe she was lucky to have found her “One”. He still has no clue. But he respected her words and kept away from crossing her line. So, he showed up to the office less and just focused on his career and his life.

The Cliffhanger:

The more he focused, he kept getting better at his job and now has to go away to take up a global role.

The time away from her, her humility yet authority in getting the job done, the admiration for her sheer persona all kept coming back to Aaryan and the layers he had built to protect him kept peeling away just to make him vulnerable to get hurt again and worse give his heart a chance to be shattered into a thousand pieces again from which he might never recover again. This scared him to the core. He could have all he wanted or he could be left broken again. The dilemma of having a friend, to whom he never proclaimed his love for her, could haunt him as a regret forever. On the other hand, he could lose a friend, who left his heart broken to never recover and reel from that loss forever.

 

What would he choose?

Should have, could have, would have – all these recount our past which we shall never get to live and the guilt of never having the courage to get hurt again. So, since the ball was not in his court, he remembered the lines

“Why do we fall son?  So that we learn to get back up again”. (Courtesy – The Batman)

“Anything that does not kill you makes you stronger.” (Courtesy – Harvey Specter, Suits)

So he decided to express his dilemma in an emotion that he connects with the most – Words!!

And give it for her to read so that she be the one to decide the course of their relationship.

And knowing her... She would probably give it a smile and say I’m sorry to not hurt Aaryan. Or she’d be that blurred picture in the wedding gown in his dream beach wedding!!

So, I leave you at this cliffhanger with the promise that I’ll be back with Part 2 of what happened – A tale of how strong Aaryan recovered or how their dream wedding was.

Cheers !! Happy to be back !!